can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
