Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
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So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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