At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
