Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
