Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
