haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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