Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.