sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
