If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
