That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
