Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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