Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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