I CAN MOONWALK!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
