Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
