i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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