Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
