someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
