Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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