problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
