This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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