so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
