I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
