are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
