ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
