whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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