I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
