He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
