I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
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I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize