never play flip cup with pint glasses
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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