why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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