we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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