what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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