If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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