did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
