I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
