nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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