saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
