I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
