So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
