is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
