She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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