i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
