So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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