took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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