butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
