ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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