Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
