it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
