So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
nutella sex= disaster
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
