Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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