Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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