Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
