If i come over, it means nothing
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
