My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
