I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
