honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize