Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
