Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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