Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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