if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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