i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I cut my penus on the lid.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
