i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
