His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
