I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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